I think I am still fairly sane...

Okay,  it is official I am a TERRIBLE blogger...  I would like to promise that I will improve,  but,  it probably will not happen.  So,  no promises.  But I will try to be a better blogger.  I suppose I shall play catch up with the many life changing events going on and gone on in the last 4 months.


Most likely if you are reading this blog we have some sort of relationship,  that or you just like to blog surf, either way you probably know that I am engaged.  I have been for a few months but obviously I never blogged about it.  My fiances name is Michael, he is amazing.  Garret love him to death and the feeling is very mutually returned.  We do not have a date set, but due to the other major event in my life we will probably set one shortly.

The second major event is that I am done with school (for now), I am officially well not officially until I receive that expensive piece of paper, a college graduate.  The reason this will force me to pick a date for the wedding is because as I explained to Michael I could not focus on a wedding, which to be honest stresses me out completely, and finish my student teaching at the same time.  So, with my student teaching behind me, successfully I might add,  I will now have to start planning a wedding.

It is hard for me to believe that I actually graduated, obviously that has been my goal , but the fact that it is here and I survived is amazing to me.  Yes, people graduate all the time, but honestly, I am very proud of myself for doing it while working full time and being a decent single mother.  Granted, I had a lot and I do mean a lot of support and help.  But it was very overwhelming at times, actually all the time.  I wanted to do this for myself,  but also to set an example for Garret.  That no matter your situation in life you can accomplish whatever you set out to do with hard work!  I want Garret to realize that Education is important and that it should be his plan for life.  The road was not paved in gold,  but rather full of ruts and bumps and sometimes made of dirt.  But,  it was a road non the less,  a road that is there if you choose to take it.

Now I suppose I will have to find a job ( I did not work this semester,  well I didn't have a paying job), and now will need to find one.  I plan on taking some down time though,  Garret and I both need it!  I still have to go through all the paperwork for my teaching license, and chances of finding a job mid-year is slim.  But, I  believe that wherever Garret and I are suppose to be the doors will open.  They have thus far,  we have survived some very rough years, and we are better because of it.  One thing the last 3 years has taught me is how to not "worry" or "stress" about things.  Or rather, how to "worry" and "stress" less.  Because to be honest I am a worrier and a stresser.  But, I have learned to keep it at bay and "trust" that things will work out for the best.

Well I think that pretty much catches things up about me,  I have another entire blog entry to write about my little man.  I will save that for another day,  hopefully soon.  I will just say that he started Kindergarten and loves it.  But growing up way to fast for this mothers sanity.

These pictures sum up my coffee addiction and saving grace the last 3 years perfectly! 

Respect doesn't mean agreement...

Today I was able to share my love of this country with my son.  My parents, Garret and I were able to go and listen to President Obama speak today.  We waited in line in the sun for an hour then we waited for over in an hour in a mob of people who were all there (or mostly all there) to support our President in what I believe is one of the most important elections in the recent past and future.  It was hot, it was humid, and as the day went on it began to smell unpleasantly of  body odor.  I recently had surgery on my knee and was hobbling around in pain and uncomfortable, all because I believe in this cause, I believe in our future, and I believe that this election is vital for so many reasons.  But most of all I endured the crowd, heat, stench, and pain because I wanted to give my son a memory, opportunity, and lesson on the importance of standing up and being active for what you believe.

To back up a few hours, on the way over to Pueblo Garret and I had an amazing conversation about Presidents, and the history of America.  It was very toned down because even though Garret is brilliant, he is only five.  We talked about George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and my favorite president John Adams.  We discussed Mitt Romney and President Obama and the differences between a king and our President.  We discussed why mommy doesn't believe that Romney would be a good president and why I believe that Obama is and will hopefully continue to be a great president.  Throughout the entire conversation and the day that followed I was adamant about one thing when discussing my views with Garret.  That although I disagree with EVERYTHING that Romney stands for and believes, I still respect him for what he is and what he is doing.  Meaning,  he represents what our country is about (sort of), the process of our election, the freedom of America, and the right to believe what you choose (even if you can't make up your mind about what it is you believe).  But the point is, I believe it is important for Garret to realize that there are many different ideas, views, and beliefs in our society.  Even though we may not agree with someone we should still respect them because that is what America is about,  the freedom to have different beliefs.  Now I know that I voice my opinion often and quite loudly.  I also know that I think some peoples views are WRONG ethically, morally, and sometimes just plain factually wrong.   But, I still respect the right to have those views, and still respect the individual that has those views.  If I don't respect a person it is usually because of their actions rather than their beliefs (if that makes sense).  And, I WANT Garret to understand this,  that it is OK and what America is about for people to have differences of opinions.  It is about how you voice that opinion that matters.  I also believe that your opinions do not supersede the rights of others (my previous post goes into more detail about this).

Waiting in the sun

So,  here it is,  I am so tired of the BLATANT disrespect for our current president.  Where is the respect for what his title stands for?  Where is the respect for that regardless of what you believe and what he believes he is THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, and that title deserves respect no matter who holds it.  I don't know why but it seems that this man has been more disrespected than ANY  president before him.  If you don't have the same views, same ideas etc that is fine, that is your right as an American, but please give the title, the job, the man the respect that he deserves as The President Of The United States. Disagree with his policies, disagree with his views, but give the respect due to the office, the process of our democracy that elected him, and what he represents- freedom, democracy, and America.
Regardless of who wins this election I will respect the man who is our President, because I respect what that title means.

Watching President Obama speak

I can't help but add how proud I am of my son.  What a privilege it was to stand there and watch the future of our country participate in the process that is America!  As he yelled "Obama, Obama, Obama" cheered with the crowd, booed with the crowed  I was given hope for our future.  Regardless of what views he has as he grows, I hope that he will always stand up for his views, will always fight for the rights of others and will always exercise his rights as an American!

It's MY SIN, leave me the hell alone!

I have pondered long and hard about how to write this without offending, angering or straining relationships.  In the end I decided that frankly I just don't care if someone is offended, upset or chooses to let our relationship be affected because of what I have to say. So with that being said I am going to vent.  I was raised in a very conservative christian home (yes the Mormon faith is Christian). I am well aware of the Christian values, the bible, and the Christian mindset.  Granted I was not raised in a evangelical or born again Christian home, but I was raised in a Christian home with Christian values.  Those of you who know me know I left the church years ago.  I don't follow the teachings, I don't practice the religion, but I consider myself a good person and "Christ-like" if you will.  I was raised to love my neighbor, to not judge, love the sinner etc.   Do these sound familiar? At this moment in my life I am not religious,  I really can't even call myself Christian with the same meaning as the majority of people are familiar with (that is an entirely different post).  To speak bluntly I don't understand how so many people call them selves Christian either?  Please don't take my words out of context,  I believe there are many wonderful Christians in the world who practice the true meaning of "Christ-like", but I also believe that there are many false Christians out there that have no business calling themselves Christian and are defiling and shaming the man who inspires the term "Christ-like".  I do not need to name names,  I do not need to point fingers.  Everyone is familiar with the people I am talking about, perhaps some of those people are even reading this blog.   I am tired to death of the hate, the  ignorance, the judgement's, the self-righteous, and elitist attitudes of people in this society all in the name of Christ and religion. (I realize that these attitudes are not inclusive to our society, but for the purpose of this rant I am referring to American society only)

I consider myself to be intelligent,  usually rational, fairly even headed, imperfect but constantly learning from my many mistakes, not overly emotional (I am sure some will disagree), educated but not all knowing, and overall fairly well rounded.   But for the life of me I can not comprehend the thinking process of individuals who believe that their actions are "Christ-like".  I can understand having different values, but what right do you have to take away someone else's rights?  See, I just don't get it, there are lots of "sinners", why pick and choose which sinners deserve the same rights as you and which ones don't?  You (I am using this word generally and not referring to anyone specific,) don't believe in Gay Marriage,  OK, but since when do your beliefs outweigh the rights of someone else?  If, you do believe in the bible, then you are aware that no one but God has the right to judge?  So ultimately isn't the sin between God and that person?  Sin is personal is it not?  So what right do you have to take away the rights of another person?  I am pretty damn positive that God has not given anyone the power that he exclusively grants himself.  Which means that you/I/he/she/them do not have the right to judge another persons perceived sin. I use the word perceived because whether or not you want to admit it, your belief is a perception, just as everyone else's is.

It wasn't all that long ago that the rights of others were denied based off of religious views and even the bible.  Certain people interpreted (perceived)  specific verses in the bible to mean that the black race was inferior and cursed to be slaves.  Awful things were done to a race of people because of certain people's perceptions/interpretations of religious text. I believe that the majority of people now believe that those perceptions and interpretations were wrong, just as the interpretations and perceptions of the text in the bible justifying the current civil rights issues are wrong as well.  My question is,  Is it going to take hundreds of years for society to realize the mistakes they are making today, or can we learn from our past and the mistakes of others and correct this injustice before it goes further?  Now,  I am not blaming slavery solely on the bible, in fact I am not blaming it on the bible itself.  I am simply stating that the interpretations of these so called Christians were part of the justifications used.

I am also not saying that you/my/his/she view or belief is wrong.  I am simply stating that no one has the right to infringe upon someone else's rights based on a personal belief. Granted you may believe your belief is right and true and all that good stuff, but it is a personal belief, and therefore should not be forced upon others.  When homosexuals are given the right to marry (it will happen) you have the right to believe that it is a sin, you have the right to believe they are going to that place you call hell, you have the right to teach your children that homosexuality is a sin, but you do not have the right to keep those rights away.   Basically what I am trying to say in a nutshell is, you worry about your soul and I will worry about my soul.  If I die and find out that I am totally wrong, than its my problem not yours.  You are not responsible for my sins, and I am not responsible for your sins, because sin is PERSONAL! So, get off your high-horse, you are not responsible for the "sins" of an entire society, you have no right, not justifications, no "God-given" commandment to worry about any one's sins but your own.  And honestly,  I personally believe that hatred and intentionally harming (IE. taking another's rights away) is a pretty damn big sin, but hey that is between you and your God, not me/he/she/ and your God.  Isn't it stated in the bible that we are all given free choice to sin?  So why do you think it is your right to take that choice away from others.  If a homosexual decides to sin and get married, isn't that there God given right? Who are you to take away their God given right to choose to sin?

Changes

I had a blog several years ago, in fact I believe it is still present because I seem to have forgotten my password and am in the process of verifying I am who I say I am so that I can access my own blog.  Regardless, I thought it was time that I start a new blog.  This blog will be a multi-purpose blog which will address many different topics and issues, along with keep those interested (you) up to date on our life.  I will undoubtedly rant and rave about my many opinions and views regarding pretty much everything, but please do not take offense, they are MY opinions and views, and regardless of how adamant I am that they may or may not be correct, they are just that- opinions and views.  So, with out further rambling...

Where to start, the summer is just about at its end, give or take 3 weeks and the sleeping in, staying up late, having no schedule or necessary plans will be over.  But, this end will be different than the previous ends of summer.  This year I will have a Kindergartner.  Although Garret has been in full time Pre-school for the last two years the word Kindergarten turns on a whole new plethora of feelings for me.  Kindergarten is not pre-school, it is the real thing, the thing we have been preparing for and the reason we went to pre-school. I am not sure I am ready for what Kindergarten actually means,  ultimately I am not sure I am ready to acknowledge that my baby is really not a baby anymore.    The last 5 years have flown by and I can't imagine how quickly the next 12 years are going to fly by.

This end of summer is also the last semester of my long sought after Bachelors degree.  Yes, after numerous years of going to school off and on I will finally be done with this chapter of my life.  This semester will not be the same as previous semesters, I will be student teaching full time, and ready or not I will be teaching.  More ready than not, I am pretty sure that I am well prepared (or at least I hope) to take this last semester on.  One thing that will be a welcome change when comparing this semester and the previous semesters will be that Garret and I will for the most part be on the same schedule.  I will be working very minimal, so I will be able to be on a very similar schedule to Garret's.  This fact will make my life and Garrets much more stable, and not quite so chaotic as previous.  We will see how the next few months go, I am sure that there will be changes to my plans, but, I am that much closer to being done.   So here is to a new semester,  a new blog, a new schedule, and a new step in our life.

Not a baby any more